Love Letter to the People Pleaser

A people pleaser is someone who feels a strong prompting to please others, even to their own detriment.

If you are such a person, this letter is for you.

“The second most important commandment is like this one. And it is, ‘Love others as much as you love yourself.’” Matthew 22:39

In order for you to love yourself, you cannot waste your life constantly trying to please others.

The truth is other people’s desires are for their own good, not yours. Their wants and their needs are solely based on what they deem advantageous for themselves. I dare say, they love themselves more than they could ever love you in many a circumstance, leaving you holding nothing but empty baskets after you have filled theirs.

NB I do not discount a bonafide friend or two and those certain family members who know you and want the best for you — they are on an entirely different plane than the individuals I highlight in this letter.

The majority of people you try to make happy are not generally concerned with you as much as they are with how they come off or benefit from the way you live your life. They hide their true motives and intentions. A sort of “what’s in it for me?” attitude is covered by their mask.

Beware of the actions of such people.

The church I used to attend had certain stipulations on the attire of its members as well as on the members’ fundamental beliefs. These stipulations weren’t sourced from any depth of love for the people. They were based in an internal manipulation and the organization’s overall preoccupation with upholding a certain public image, most importantly, a particularly immaculate one in the eyes of its prospective members.

If I had lived my life to please the leadership and community of that specific church, and yet not know Yahuah for myself, I would be lost today.

“Leave them! They are blind guides of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.” Matthew 15:14

Not everyone has your best interest at heart.

Though you may attempt to make Person A happy, Person A may not want the best for you, may not want to see you succeed. So Person A secretly tries getting you to self-sabotage your own happiness. In doing so, you end up lower than them, essentially not progressing at the level to which you are capable.

You must rip off the rose-colored glasses. Most people in the world are not good, and they tend to look out for their own self interests.

“Behold, darkness covers the earth and thick darkness is over the people,” Isaiah 60:2a

“As it is written, ‘There is none righteous, no, not one: There is none that understands, there is none that seeks after Yahuah. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that does good, no, not one.’” Romans 3:10-12

Therefore, if you attempt to please people who are in darkness, who have not sought after the truth for their own sakes, where do you think that will lead you?

I posit to you, instead of trying to please them, please Yahuah Who is within you. Seek after the Kingdom within and allow the darkness without to be overcome by your Light.

Not everyone is for you, and that is okay.

Whoever is pleased once you please Yahuah and follow the path birthed from within you, they are your tribe, they are your people. By extension, the souls who are misaligned with your path, will not be for you. Allow them to fall by the wayside as you press forward.